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We can all relate to the desire to find Mr or Ms Right. It’s almost a cultural obsession. But unfortunately the search for the perfect person to fix us is one of our biggest psychic wounds and one of the ego’s most powerful delusions.

Often we long for another person because, in an invisible, intangilble realm, we’re still communicating, still connecting, still seeking resolution. Peope will say,”You’re being neurotic. It’s time to let go.”But there was a time when widows wore weeds for a year; grief was understood,acknowledged, validated. It’s not neurotic to grieve a relationship; what’s neurotic is when we don’t. On some level, no matter how disassociated from our feelings we might be, every relationship brings hope-hope that this might be a safe place, a haven, a rest after all our battles.

When a relationship doesn’t work out, for whatever reason, our disappointment is natural. Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated karmic connection.An ending relationship is much like a death, and in many cases the sadness is even greater. When someone has died, there has often been completion and understanding that doesn’t occur when both people are alive but have separated without higher awareness. Perhaps the one we love is simply on the other side of the city with someone else now, yet they are really universes away since the resolution we so crave has not occurred. There’s no need to pretend this isn’t a knife to the heart. It is , and there’s nothing to do but cry the tears that gush forth like blood from a wound.

When emotional knives hit the heart, walls crumble that didn’t belong there to begin with. We can learn what is illusion and what is real. When we can’t be softened by our tears. We can learn that idols can never ever be trusted, and we can learn about a love that never, ever leaves.

Puisque c'est l'amour.